Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
