He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
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