Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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