he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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