I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Randomize
