His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
