ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
