I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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