the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
