Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
