btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
