i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
