every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
