He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
