I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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