I cockslap morals
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
