But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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