Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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