You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
