Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
