Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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