Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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