I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
