i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
