what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
