Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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