So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
