Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
