what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The air taste purple.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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