If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
