you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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