Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize