College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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