so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
