I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
