That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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