It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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