Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
