i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
