so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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