fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
