You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize