I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Randomize
