It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
