Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
