I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
