so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
