its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
