Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
