I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
