Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
