too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
