Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
