East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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