it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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