hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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