never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
