they need to just BURY HIM!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
