lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
