Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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