Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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