If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
