Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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