you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
