Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
