Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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