I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
