We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
