Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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