Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
