I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
