It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
