The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
