I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
