She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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