whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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