you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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