let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize