I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
love makes seman taste better
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
