Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
